When faced with discussing formidable topics with children such as birth, puberty, adoption, death, illness, (or as I did on this particular morning: terrorism), it may be difficult to predict what their initial reactions and questions will be. The decision of whether or not to broach a topic like September 11th is possibly a tender one for parents. Will your child understand? Will he have anxiety? Will she become fearful when she was not before? Or, will he want to use the "confundus" charm so the bad guys will get confused about what they were doing and the day will be saved?
As my child exhausted the Harry Potter spells he would conjure to rid the planet of malice, he glommed on to the date itself and derived that he was not alive twelve years ago. Was I surprised that he was trying to find some small ways to relate this event to himself? Not at all. How many of us think about where we were when the first tower fell? (Office of Cystic Fibrosis Foundation, a stone's throw from Miami International Airport).
On the morning of 9/11/13, I decided to chat with my almost seven-year old about the terrible events this anniversary represents. I did this to honor the memories of those who died and to do my part of "never forget."
As my child exhausted the Harry Potter spells he would conjure to rid the planet of malice, he glommed on to the date itself and derived that he was not alive twelve years ago. Was I surprised that he was trying to find some small ways to relate this event to himself? Not at all. How many of us think about where we were when the first tower fell? (Office of Cystic Fibrosis Foundation, a stone's throw from Miami International Airport).
He continued even more emphatically, “My SISTER wasn’t born then. My COUSIN was ONE! Mommy, how old were you?” (almost 26).
“Mommy, if I were on the plane I would use my karate on them.”
“Okay, honey. That's a good plan, because I don't think they would let you bring your wand on the plane."
I showed him my Facebook feed which I had pre-screened. One after another, Facebook friends had posted, “Never Forget” with tribute images of the Twin Towers. Some images had the towers standing tall; others showed the towers as reflections. A little more conversation followed.
A bit of the enormity began to sink in for him.
The possibility that evil could be real was working its way through a child’s filter where his family, his home, his school and his country swaddled him in love, comfort, protection and freedom. As of yet, his sheltered lens had been marred only by movies that were assured to be fantasy, occasional nightmares that were shooed away by kisses and snuggles, or a bad day--no true evil in his radar.
He says, “Why were they so bad? Why would they do that? They killed themselves when they killed everyone. That’s stupid, isn’t it, Mommy? Why would they do that?”
We continue to chat. I do not have any real answers. I tell him he is safe.
We continue to chat. I do not have any real answers. I tell him he is safe.
He and I try to think, what it could possibly feel like for the families of the victims today. We agreed that during his moment of silence at school that day, he would think of them. I would too.
I tell him that I say “never forget,” with heaviness, seriousness and sadness, about two historical events: the Holocaust (he remembers a previous discussion we had about Hitler and the loss of 6 million Jews) and on September 11th when the United States of America was attacked on her own soil.
In the afternoon, I pick my son up from school. “You were right, Mommy. We all had our moment of silence for the nine-eleven people.”
I tell him that I say “never forget,” with heaviness, seriousness and sadness, about two historical events: the Holocaust (he remembers a previous discussion we had about Hitler and the loss of 6 million Jews) and on September 11th when the United States of America was attacked on her own soil.
In the afternoon, I pick my son up from school. “You were right, Mommy. We all had our moment of silence for the nine-eleven people.”
“Mommy, if I were on the plane I would use my karate on them.”
“Okay, honey. That's a good plan, because I don't think they would let you bring your wand on the plane."
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